


ineffable

by regionals



Series: ineffable [1]
Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Trans Male Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-30 00:54:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 17,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8512513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionals/pseuds/regionals
Summary: Brendon adds Dallon on Facebook, simply because he's cute.(short chapters.) (not as angsty as it seems, trust me.)





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> so, with the election and how THAT turned out, i decided that i am going to finish this wip. if u read it in my other fic that has all my wips then yh sorry im. gonna finish it. i really need to vent rn anyways so?? might as well provide everyone with some GOODE fluff and a bit of smut. this is mostly done already so im gonna just work on posting it throughout the day like. listen. if i can make someones day a little better with this then i really want to. if it helps distract u or get ur mind off of all the shitty things, then i have achieved my goal.

“ _Sarah, are you sure I should add this guy on Facebook?” Brendon nibbles on a thumbnail, and stares at the suggested panel next to his profile on Facebook, before glancing over to look at his best friend._

“ _If you don't do it, then I will. Look, he's friends with Josh, so obviously he can't be that bad. Also, he's cute. You see that face? That's the face of a cute guy. Add him, Brendon.” Sarah has hands on Brendon's shoulders, and she's shaking him, not to mention looking at him with something fierce in her eyes._

_Brendon sighs, and clicks on the 'add friend' button, before closing the tab. “Well, here goes nothing. Fuck.”_

“ _Now, we wait.”_


	2. 0.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (uh. probably like... worth noting but i'm a trans guy, so don't jump down my throat if this stuff doesn't 100% match your experience or what you think it should be like ig...??) (just basing it offa my feelings u kno.)

Brendon barges into Sarah's room a few days later, and claps his hands together to get her attention. “Hey, he accepted the friend request.”

She grins, and does a fist pump. “See? I told you he'd accept it, dude.”

He shakes his head, and walks over to her bed. She scoots over to give him enough room to plop down next to her. He shows her his phone, saying, “That's not all, though. He messaged me.”

  


**Dallon Weekes:** Do I know you at all?

  


“What should I say?” Brendon nibbles at his lip while Sarah gives him a set of instructions on how to reply.

  


**Brendon Urie:** No. You're friends with one of my friends, and my roommate said I should add you anyways since you're cute.

**Dallon Weekes:** Well, Shit. That's interesting, I guess. So, what are you up to?

**Brendon Urie:** Not much, man. I'm just existing.

**Dallon Weekes:** I'm on my lunch break right now.

**Brendon Urie:** it's like 5pm dude

**Dallon Weekes:** I teach uh… gay studies in the evenings.

**Brendon Urie:** Gay studies?

**Dallon Weekes:** Yeah. Basically the class, and myself, studies homoeroticism in modern and classical literature, music, and a bunch of other things, plus we focus on LGBT+ rights, along with the movement in general. At the moment, we're studying Stonewall.

**Brendon Urie:** Dude that's actually pretty freaking sick. They don't teach classes like that at the college I go to.

**Dallon Weekes** : Well, they should. I took the class when I was in college, and I literally switched my major just so I could teach it. I fell in love with it almost immediately.

**Brendon Urie:** Aww. That's kind of cute, actually.

**Dallon Weekes:** Yes, education is totally adorable. That's exactly why I teach for a living; just to be cute.

**Brendon Urie** : Smart ass.


	3. 0.2

Brendon and Sarah go out for a totally platonic coffee date. (Like, actually platonic. Sarah is asexual, and aromantic, whereas Brendon is bisexual, with a preference for men anyways, so there's really not a whole lot going on there.) “So, spill the tea. What's the professor like?”

“Well—”

\---

**Brendon Urie:** Sup

**Dallon Weekes:** Grading essays right now, so I can't really talk with Facebook, but if you're interested, I do have a laptop and Skype.

**Brendon Urie:** Skype works, but I'm not that impressive.

**Dallon Weekes:** Nonsense. I like your face in your pictures, so I'm sure a video call wouldn't be too terrible. At least for me. Now, as for me—I'm pretty basic.

**Brendon Urie:** I'm suing you for slander. You are not basic. You're, like, really pretty.

**Dallon Weekes:** I'm rolling my eyes. Add me on Skype. My username is DJWeekes.

\---

_breadurie wants to add you as a contact._

_accept | deny_

Dallon clicks accept, and the second he does, he gets the notification of a video call. He takes a few quick moments to organize his desk a bit before clicking on 'answer.' Brendon's face is a little blurry for a few moments until the video loads properly, and Dallon almost faints. He's greeted with probably one of the most beautiful grins ever, and the softest little, “Hello.”

Dallon smiles back shyly, and says a quick, “Hi,” back to Brendon.

“How's the grading going?” He asks, and Dallon spares him a glance.

“Boring. One of my students is really bigoted, and I just… I don't know why she's in my class. She doesn't like me in the first place since I'm bi, so she's totally disrespectful, and all of her essays and assignments are just… They lack signs of intelligence. I'll just put it that way.” Dallon sighs, and goes back to writing little notes between the lines of the aforementioned girl's essay.

“Sounds dumb. I'd kick her out of my class.”

“Well, I would, but she needs the credit,” He mutters quietly. “I don't like kicking students out of classes unless they're being especially insufferable. I'm here to teach.”

“Yeah. That's actually pretty cool. I wish I had teachers like you in high school.”

Dallon looks up with raised brows. “Boy, you don't even know if I'm a good teacher.”

“I can tell you are by how you just talked about your students. If it were me, that girl would be gone, but you're all patient and shit, which is pretty nice. So, how are you with people who have like, ADHD and shit?”

Dallon shrugs, and goes back to the essay again. “The school doesn't offer 504 Plans, since it's a college, but I tend to give shorter and simpler assignments to those who need it. One of my friends had ADHD, and school was hell for him, because teachers wouldn't even try to do their jobs right. A load of shit, if you ask me.”

“I have pretty bad ADHD. Good to know you're, like, good with that shit. You're definitely earning yourself some brownie points with me.”

Dallon chuckles. “Tell me about your day while I get to grading.”

“You gonna zone out, or are you gonna listen?”

“I can multitask, Brendon.”

“Alright, alright. Well, first off, I got woken up from Sarah's frickin' cat jumping on my head at, like, four in the morning.”

“Sounds rough.”

“Yeah. Anyways, I couldn't get back to sleep. After sitting around for a few hours, I went to my first lecture of the day, and almost died of boredom. I was so tempted to attempt suicide afterward. So, lunch time rolled around, and I was texting you while I was eating, then I had a few more classes before I got home. I have to go to work in a few hours.”

“What time is it for you?” Dallon asks, quietly, as he scribbles down the grade for the bigot before pulling out another essay to get started on.

“Nine right now. How about you?”

“Six; I don't have an evening lecture today. Why would you work at eleven?”

“I need to pay for whatever scholarships and grants don't cover somehow. Sarah helps with my tuition, since she has, like, four sugar daddies, but she still can't help a whole lot. Debt is honestly a tragic thing.” Brendon sighs, and Dallon looks up again, unable to help the small smile that comes across his face at the way Brendon pouts. “I hate being an adult.”

“Trust me, so do I.”

  


\---

  


**Brendon Urie:** Are you single

**Dallon Weekes:** Yeah, actually. I just got out of a long term relationship. Guess you caught me at a good time, perhaps? ;)

**Brendon Urie:** I guess so!

  


\---

  


“Brendon, that's so fucking adorable.” Sarah is gushing, and sighing wistfully. “Where does he live?”

“Creep.”

“Oh, just tell me.”

“Facebook says he lives in Malibu. Too bad we're in New York.” This time, it's Brendon's turn to sigh, before he groans at nothing in particular. _God, I already have it bad._


	4. 0.3

**Brendon Urie:** What are you doing on Christmas

**Dallon Weekes:** Idk. My roommate went home for Christmas, and my parents kind of cut off contact with me, so probably nothing.

**Brendon Urie:** Wanna hang out on Skype on Christmas?

**Dallon Weekes:** Of course. It's better than being alone, getting drunk, and feeling sorry for myself.

**Brendon Urie:** I can't promise how entertaining I'll be, but I'm sure getting drunk and feeling sorry for yourself is fun with a friend ;P

**Dallon Weekes:** Haha. Alright. Hit me up on x-mas whenever you're ready to get the lonely hearts club party going.

  


\---

  


Brendon's wearing the ugliest sweater he can find, along with a Santa hat, which causes Dallon to go into a laughing fit once he answers the call. “Hey, don't laugh at me. This is my version of a 'Sexy Santa' outfit.”

“And a very Sexy Santa you are,” Dallon replies, jokingly. (Or mostly jokingly. He thinks Brendon's hot; what can you do, y'know?)

“I'm flattered. Anyways, it's better than being in a boring band t-shirt like you are. I'm disappointed in you, Mister Weekes.”

“What are you? My mom?”

“I am now. Go put on a sweater, dude. Preferably a festive one.”

He huffs. “I'll go see if my roommate has anything especially ugly.”

Brendon watches him walk out of the room, and he allows himself a moment to at least attempt to half way recover from how both adorable and _hot_ the man he's been making a friend out of is. Dallon returns a few minutes later in a sweater that has the ugliest black cat knitted onto the front. “I don't know why he owns this, but how do I look?”

“Absolutely horrible. I love it.” Brendon grins, wide and genuine, earning a shy smile and an awkward shake of the head from Dallon.

They talk about their families, and Dallon explains how his parents were very committed Mormons, and the fact that their kid wasn't straight absolutely ruined them, then Brendon tells Dallon about how his kicked him out since he left the LDS church at seventeen. They also talk about favorite holidays, and discuss which shitty Christmas movies were/are the best, and they even have an in depth conversation about dick sucking before Brendon ends up having to cut the call, since it was late, and he really needed to sleep.

Needless to say, after that Christmas, they start talking even more than they had previously.


	5. 0.4

**Brendon Urie:** I got a question.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Hit me.

 **Brendon Urie:** Do I actually have a chance with you or is my flirting in vain

 **Dallon Weekes:** You've got a chance, trust me.

 **Brendon Urie:** NEAT

 **Dallon Weekes:** Do I have a chance…? :O

 **Brendon Urie:** Well duh obviously you do!

 **Dallon Weekes:** Good.


	6. 0.5

**Dallon Weekes:** [image attached]

**Dallon Weekes:** I have a conference to go to, then a speech to give @ the conference in a few hours. Gotta dress fancy. What do you think?

**Brendon Urie:** 10/10 would nut again. also your hips are adorable like i literally nutted over them I wanna squeeze them

**Dallon Weekes:** Oh my god

**Brendon Urie:** What's your speech about? I didn't peg you for the speech type.

**Dallon Weekes:** LGBT+ stuff.

**Brendon Urie:** What kind of LGBT stuff? That covers a lot of things, dude.

**Dallon Weekes:** LGBT+ Rights, specifically trans rights at the moment, given the shit going on around the country right now.

**Brendon Urie:** Oh that's cool. I didn't know you studied up on, like, trans stuff specifically.

**Dallon Weekes:** Well, I do teach gay studies, and 'transgender' falls under LGBT+

**Brendon Urie:** True, true.

**Brendon Urie:** Also, is that Prada?

**Dallon Weekes:** Yeah. I splurged a few years ago. I only wear this on super important occasions.

**Brendon Urie:** Shit, man. You're not rich, are you?

**Dallon Weeks:** Oh, god no. That suit took like six months of saving, and it isn't even that expensive as far as designer suits go. Anyways, I need to go get ready and prepare for everything. I'll talk to you afterward I guess.

**Brendon Urie:** Good luck! :)

  


After that conversation, Brendon takes the deepest breath, and lets out a screech. Sarah yelps in alarm from somewhere else in the apartment before coming into his room to ask him what the _hell_ he's doing.

“Dallon sent me a selfie and he's fucking hot. Come look.”

She whistles under her breath when she sees. “Damn. I don't even feel sexual attraction but I'd still hit it.”

Brendon rolls his eyes and laughs.


	7. 0.6

Dallon sighs super loudly half way through the car ride from his shared apartment with Josh, to the conference hall where he's about to give a huge speech.

Josh spares him a glance while they're at a stop light. “What is it? You don't sigh like that very often.”

“I haven't told him yet.”

“About…?”

“Yeah. The thing.”

“You should. I mean, I've known Brendon since we were about eleven, and I know he's most likely going to be fine with it.”

“I like him, though, and what if he drops me on the off chance he's _not_ cool with it?” Dallon sighs again, and scrubs his hands down his face before he thwacks his head against the back of the seat.

“If he isn't, then he wasn't worth your time in the first place, but on the off chance he is, then this could be your chance at a happily ever after.”

“I thought I had happily ever after with Breezy, but we all know how that turned out.”

“Listen, it's not your fault that she suddenly decided that she didn't see you as a man anymore.”

He picks at a hangnail. “I know, I know. It's just—she was amazing, and even, like, supported me when I came out, supported me throughout the whole frickin' process of transitioning, but then she went and pulled that crap. Like, if someone who was awesome like her could do that, then why not Brendon?”

“Brendon's really into all that social justice stuff, and he has trans friends too. I know that doesn't automatically mean he's cool with it, but, listen—I know him a lot better than you do.”

They sit in silence for a few moments, and Josh ends up pulling into a gas station parking lot to talk his friend down from a panic attack. “Don't get all misty eyed on me, man. He's not like her. I've seen some of your conversations with him, and I've even talked to him myself, man. He's not going to pull that shit. If he does, I will seriously fly myself to New York to kick his little bitch ass.”

“His ass isn't small.”

Josh lets out a quick, wheezing laugh, and grins. “Shut up. You know what I mean.”

“You're a good best friend, man.”

“So are you, dude.”


	8. 0.7

**daddy weekes:** hey wanna call

**bread:** um. so. whats with the name.

**daddy weekes:** oh god fucking damnit josh changed my name again im going to kill him this time

**bread:** he used to do that to me when we were in high school

**bread:** anyways, i wanna see your cute little face ;)

**bread:** ive had a rough day and talking to you always makes it better

**daddy weekes:** me too

**daddy weekes:** wanna complain together?

**bread:** obviously

  


When Dallon picks up, he's saying, "You complain first," as he curls up in his blanket.

Brendon 'aww's at him, and Dallon sticks his tongue out.

"What? You're adorable."

"I'm twenty four. I'm too old to be adorable."

"Shut up, Dallon. I'm twenty two and I'm totally adorable. You can be too."

"Twenty two is the cut off age, man."

Brendon snorts. "You want me to complain, or do you want me to argue with you over how adorable you are?"

"Complain, please."

"Alright—where do I start..." Brendon taps his chin. "Well, my economics professor singled me out and embarrassed me in front of the class, and that's, like, one of my fears, I guess, meaning I ended up having an anxiety attack in one of the bathrooms. Sarah's out of town visiting family, so she wasn't there to let me cry on her. After that, I tripped on one of the steps on my way to my car, so my knee is all fucking bruised and hurts like a bitch, then my boss fired me, because I couldn't go to work because of my damn knee." Brendon's scrubbing at his eyes, and sighing. "I am so stressed today. Wanna come over and hug me?"

Dallon smiles sympathetically. "Would if I could, dude. My turn?"

Brendon nods. "Hell yeah. Hit me with the dirt."

Dallon chuckles a little bitterly, and moves his blanket to cover part of his face. "Well, I kicked the bigoted girl, and a few other students out of my class today. I hate doing that, but I have no tolerance for bullshit when it comes to certain things."

"What certain things? I thought you were patient and shit."

He sighs. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Dallon, dude—did you kill someone?"

He huffs. "No, nothing like that."

Brendon goes back and forth with Dallon, trying to get him to spit it out, before propositioning him. "I will suck your dick if you tell me what's going on."

The older man groans. "That's the _problem._ I don't _have_ a dick."

Brendon's eyes widen, and his brain is trying to figure out what Dallon meant. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me."

"What do you mean you don't have a _dick?"_

Dallon _sighs_ this time, and sits up, pulling his blanket from his torso.

"Oh, dude, please tell me you aren't taking your pants off."

Dallon rolls his eyes. "Chill. I'm not doing that. Listen—don't make fun of my chest, alright?" He mutters the request quietly as he peels his t-shirt off. He holds it against his chest for a few minutes, hiding, before letting it drop.

Brendon still hasn't figured it out, and Dallon really wants to whack him when he says, "Yo, what's with the scars?"

"They're from a _surgery."_ Dallon puts emphasis on the word surgery, and, alas, Brendon is still clueless.

"What the hell kind of surgery...? Were you, like, fat or something?"

"I've been skinny my whole damn life, dude. Will you shut up for a few minutes and let me complain? If you can do that, you'll figure out what I'm talking about."

Brendon seems to ponder the idea for a minute, before agreeing to keep his mouth shut until Dallon is done.

"Alright, a few of my students, like, the good ones, my _favorite_ ones, were at the place where I gave the speech, right? I kind of fibbed when I said it was about transgender rights. I mean, that was part of it of course, but I was talking about how it personally affected me, because I am... transgender." Dallon takes a deep breath, and closes his eyes for a moment before continuing. "Anyways, they were talking about it, and like... They thought it was cool that they had a bisexual and transgender guy teaching their gay studies class, but the few shitheads in the class overheard. When I walked into the class, late as usual, the girl piped up, said that I lied, and that I should have told everyone that I was actually a girl."

"But... you're a dude." Brendon frowns.

"Exactly. Anyways, her and the two others pitched in, and they argued with me before I told them to leave. I talked to the dean, and they're probably either going to get expelled, or they're going to get suspended or some other bullshit. I should've told you about that sooner. I get it if you aren't interested in me anymore."

Brendon rolls his eyes and scoffs. "Of _course_ I'm still interested in you. I don't care about that stuff. Like, I mean, I do, but not in a bad way. All I care about is that you're happy and all that jazz."

"Would you still bust a nut?"

Brendon giggles. "Hell yeah. You should put your shirt back on before I actually do."

Dallon does put it back on, and after that, they fall into a conversation that takes tons of turns, and either of them end up falling asleep in the call. Dallon only wakes up when Brendon's alarm goes off, and they take a second to laugh about how they fell asleep before Brendon hangs up so he can go take his morning shower before he has class.


	9. 0.8

**Dallon Weekes:** Are you sure the trans thing doesn't bother you…?

**Brendon Urie:** Yes, I'm sure. I mean, I assume that being trans is a huge part of your life, but it doesn't define you. I genuinely like you for who you are, alright? I will remind you every day of my life. Pinky promise.

**Dallon Weekes:** You're sweet.

**Dallon Weekes:** Sorry about being insecure. My last girlfriend was really sweet and all, but eventually she dumped me because she didn't see me as a real man. Which sucked.

**Brendon Urie:** Okay, well, I won't do that, assuming we're, like, a thing…?

**Dallon Weekes:** I mean… I hope so? We've been talking almost constantly for like five months now, and you're kind of really awesome…?

**Brendon Urie:** Do you wanna be a thing? I meaaan, I'm down. Definitely down for that.

**Dallon Weekes:** Yes.

**Brendon Urie:** FUCK YEAH.

**Dallon Weekes:** chill

**Brendon Urie:** dude no im not chilling ive got a really frickin gorgeous not established boyfriend ok

**Dallon Weekes:** Oh, hush. You're gonna make me blush.


	10. 0.9

At breakfast, a few days after dropping the bomb on Brendon, Dallon brings it up with Josh. “So, I told him.”

His friend looks up from his cereal, and blinks groggily, before mumbling out, “How'd it go?” around a mouthful of said cereal.

“He doesn't care.”

“In a good way…?”

“Yeah, in a good way.” He smiles a little dumbly before continuing. “He still likes me, he's still _interested,_ and he still thinks I'm hot.”

“Told you that he's cool. Brendon may act like a dick, and I don't know if he does with you, but he's super nice.”

“He's really nice to me, actually. We kind of agreed that we're like...”

“Dating?”

“No. We can't really date since I don't know him outside of Facebook and Skype, but like… we're a thing. You get me?”

Josh nods, knowingly. “F'r some reason, it remind me of the time Tyler broke up with me because he moved back to Ohio to finish his degree.” Josh rolls his eyes. “Literally the worst day of my life.”

“Well, yeah, but he at least came back to tuck his tail and apologize. Also, at least _you_ get to see him sometimes.”

“You should visit Brendon or something, man. Ask him to be your boyfriend and shit like that.”

“Yes, I'll just take five hundred dollars that I don't have just to travel to New York, out of nowhere, in the middle of finals week.”

Josh rolls his eyes, and calls Dallon a smart ass before he gets up to go get dressed for his classes.


	11. 1.0

**Brendon Urie:** [image attached]

 **Brendon Urie:** hey daddy

 **Dallon Weekes:** Stop immediately.

 **Brendon Urie:** I was kidding omg

 **Brendon Urie:** Listen, I look good today. I have to show off. Also, I'm not huge on sexting.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Well, you do look good. I will not argue with that. Also, that's good. I'm not too huge on it either. I mean, I can be nasty, but it's still kind of weird.

 **Brendon Urie:** How nasty

 **Dallon Weekes:** Seriously?

 **Brendon Urie:** Let me be a fuckboy.

 **Dallon Weekes:** I think the nastiest thing I've ever said would have to be, “I will suck your dick so hard, that when you cum, it'll feel like your soul is leaving your body.”

 **Brendon Urie:** LMAO

 **Dallon Weekes:** I got blocked by the guy I said that to.

 **Brendon Urie:** Well, if you want to suck my soul out of me via the dick, feel free ;)

 **Dallon Weekes:** You really are a fuckboy, aren't you?

 **Brendon Urie:** I mean, _yeah._ On a scale of one to ten, how good are your dick sucking skills?

 **Dallon Weekes:** Idk probably a 3. I've only been with cis girls.

 **Dallon Weekes:** How good are _you_ at oral in general (I'm wiggling my eyebrows. Also, why are we having this conversation?)

 **Brendon Urie:** I don't wanna boast, but I haven't had any complaints from any guys or gals. (I don't know, man. Honestly, I'm sitting here laughing because this is ridiculous.)

 **Dallon Weekes:** I'll keep that in mind :^)

 **Brendon Urie:** Yet you call me the fuckboy.

 **Dallon Weekes:** We're both fuckboys. You're just worse than I am.


	12. 1.1

**Dallon Weekes:** I need reassurance

**Brendon Urie:** Why (I'm about to drive Sarah to a doctor's appointment, so sorry if my replies are spotty)

**Dallon Weekes:** (It's cool.) I'm just having a bad day

**Brendon Urie:** And now I am in the waiting room while she does that. How's your day bad?

**Dallon Weekes:** Had an appointment with my gynecologist this morning.

**Brendon Urie:** I winced. Ow. That sounds like a recipe for a bad time.

**Dallon Weekes:** Just imagine like, really disrespectful nurses not respecting that I am a grown ass man, then a gynecologist who won't say shit/defend me even though she knows. Like, even legally I am a man. This is dumb and I am so, so close to shooting up the clinic.

**Brendon Urie:** Don't do that. I can't be in a relationship with a convict.

**Dallon Weekes:** Who said I'm going to get caught

**Brendon Urie:** You sly son of a bitch. It gets me all hot and tingly when you act like a bad ass.

**Dallon Weekes:** I'm trying to defend my honor, not give you a boner.

**Brendon Urie:** I'll try to keep my dick under control, but it'll be hard, since you're one sexy beast.

**Dallon Weekes:** “It'll be hard.”

**Brendon Urie:** Exactly.

**Dallon Weekes:** Permission to hate you?

**Brendon Urie:** Nope. You have permission to love me and worship me as your god, though.

**Dallon Weekes:** How about the first one?

**Brendon Urie:** I think I can settle with that.

**Dallon Weekes:** One condition, though. You gotta love me back.

**Brendon Urie:** Consider it done.

**Dallon Weekes:** And now my day is suddenly perfect. Thanks.

**Brendon Urie** : Anytime.


	13. 1.2

**Brendon Urie:** Hi

 **Dallon Weekes:** Hello

 **Brendon Urie:** So I was asking one of my trans friends for relationship advice

 **Dallon Weekes:** Are we about to have an awkward conversation

 **Brendon Urie:** Possibly.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Okay. Are you about to break up with me? That's all I wanna know right now.

 **Brendon Urie:** No way, man. The day I do that is the day I die. Trust me. B)

 **Dallon Weekes:** You're kind of a dweeb.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Anyways, continue on with what you were talking about.

 **Brendon Urie:** Okay, well, despite being a total stud, I'm still awkward, and bad at asking you things directly, so I talked to the person I told you about because I had questions about the 's' word.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Sex?

 **Brendon Urie:** Yes. I was instructed to talk to you myself rather than asking someone else. Which is a totally logical solution.

 **Dallon Weekes:** I mean. I like sex. And it's been a while since I've gotten laid, I guess. Your parents gave you the talk, right?

 **Brendon Urie:** Of course they did. A watered down Mormon version centered around abstinence, but they did. I mean, we've joked about like… sex stuff sometimes, but like… Okay, is this a bad time to have that talk? Do you wanna save it for later? I mean, this, our thing, has only been going on for a few months.

 **Dallon Weekes:** I mean I really like you, so we probably should have this talk…? I haven't had sex with anyone who has a dick before. Yikes.

 **Brendon Urie:** I have. And if you were a cis guy, I could totally give you an All You Need To Know on anal sex when it comes to people with dicks, but, like y'know. They aren't that scary? If your dick person knows what they're doing, at least.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Are you a dick person who knows what he's doing

 **Brendon Urie:** You're a professor in gay studies, I'm basically a professor on safe sex in just about all forms.

 **Dallon Weekes:** So you think we're gonna get to a place to where we'd like… do that?

 **Brendon Urie:** If you hadn't noticed I'm kind of like… really into you.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Okay, listen, for some reason I still thought you weren't actually _serious_ about like. us. If you feel me.

 **Brendon Urie:** I can understand that. I dunno. The friend also told me that like… some trans people are okay with certain things whereas others aren't? I don't know a lot about this stuff, and considering that I love you (I was serious when I said that hopefully its not creepy) I figured that it's probably a good thing to learn.

 **Dallon Weekes:** (I was serious too.) (I'm the kind of person who just goes with the flow of things, so don't worry. I'll tell you if things are going too fast. If you were worried, that is.) That is very true. I mean, I'm kind of scared about that stuff, but it's mostly like… anxiety. “Am I doing this wrong?” “Am I bad?” “(insert something about body/self image)?” I've also only done sexual things with one person anyways. I think it's one of those things that we're gonna just have to tackle when the time comes, I guess…?

 **Brendon Urie:** Is this a bad time to say I'm hard

 **Dallon Weekes:** I am this close to blocking you on Facebook.

 **Dallon Weekes:** [insert picture of two fingers held close together]

 **Brendon Urie:** My mind wanders, okay? I can't help it.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Listen, I'm not innocent here either, but you're the one who brought up your boner. I'm at least private about my metaphorical one.

 **Brendon Urie:** No, man, you got a boner. Dick or not, you have a boner. Spiritual boners are just as important as physical boners. Anyways, what _really_ is a boner?

 **Dallon Weekes:** Please tell me you aren't about to wax poetic over boners, or that you're about to get existential on me.

 **Brendon Urie:** Is a boner only defined by dick? Why are dick people the only ones able to have boners? Why can't the others have them too? #BonersAreASocialConstruct

 **Dallon Weekes:** I can't believe I'm saying this, but boner buddies?

 **Brendon Urie:** Yes. Boner Buddies 4 lyfe.


	14. 1.3

“So, how's it going with your boyfriend, who, by the way, I'm still not convinced is real?” Pete's wiggling his eyebrows, and leaning across the table that's in the middle of the food court in a fucking mall, giving Brendon one of the most suggestive looks possible.

“Pete, I've told you a million times—he's _real._ I've even shown you my Facebook conversations with him.”

“I dunno, man. You were single for a while.”

“Six months. I was single for six months.”

“Alright, alright. Spill the tea, dude.”

“I think I might actually love him.”

“Oh really? This isn't going to end up being another Ryan situation, is it?”

“I was sixteen during the whole Ryan Debacle, dude. Anyways—just—I get all happy and butterflies in the stomach whenever I talk to him, and even though we haven't had a chance to meet, I think like… he's it. I mean, I don't know for sure, of course, but I can feel it, I guess. It sounds dumb.”

Pete hushes Brendon. “It doesn't sound dumb, my young bisexual child.”

“I'm older than you.”

“I'm older than you in queer years.”

“I had sex like two years before you did.”

“Shut up and let me have this, Brendon.”

“Alright. Asshole.”

Pete makes kissy noises at Brendon, earning him a middle finger and a roll of the eyes.


	15. 1.4

**Josh Dun:** [image attached]

 **Brendon Urie:** What the fuck is he doing and why is he only in his underwear

 **Josh Dun:** He's drunk, and trying to reenact the one scene from Titanic.

 **Josh Dun:** [image attached]

 **Josh Dun:** Now, here he is, in the process of giving me a drunken lecture on why Jack dying was a load of shit, and how Rose was a selfish cunt for not letting him on the piece of wood or whatever with her, since there was enough room.

 **Brendon Urie:** I'm still confused on why he's only in his underwear.

 **Josh Dun:** Dude, he rarely ever wears anything _but_ underwear when he's at home. The only times I see him dressed is if he's talking to you on Skype, or if he's getting ready to go to work.

 **Josh Dun:** [image attached]

 **Josh Dun:** Dallon, in his natural habitat, running at me because he caught me taking pictures.

 **Brendon Urie:** I'm setting that as my wallpaper.

 **Josh Dun:** “I don't want him seeing my nipples!” -Drunk Dallon.

 **Brendon Urie:** They're so tiny aww.

 **Josh Dun:** dont ufckgin aww at my nipples yuou as s

 **Josh Dun:** [image attached]

 **Josh Dun:** hers jsoh, in his natural habitatti , trying to gete shi phonse back

 **Brendon Urie:** Dallon, you should eat something, drink some water, then go to bed. And Josh, you should be a bro and set some Advil or something next to his bed for his hangover.

 **Josh Dun:** I have my phone back now, and also, will do.


	16. 1.5

**Brendon Urie:** Is it possible to miss someone you haven't even met before

 **Dallon Weekes:** I think so, yeah. Why do you ask?

 **Brendon Urie:** I'm sad and lonely and I need someone to cuddle with but you live too far for that

 **Dallon Weekes:** Do you wanna video call…? This is one of the rare nights that I don't have anything to grade, since it's finals week.

 **Brendon Urie:** Pleeeaaaase :( I want to be all gross and adorable with you

  


Brendon breathes a sigh of relief when Dallon answers the video call. “After the shit day I've had, you don't know how great it is to see your face.”

“Isn't it about one for you?”

Brendon nods, and pulls his blanket tighter around himself. “Yeah. Can't sleep. It's ten for you, right?”

“Yep. I was out with Josh all afternoon, grocery shopping and shit.”

“Wait, do you live him?”

“Rent's ridiculous here, so we split it.”

“It is here, too. Man, we live in two of the most expensive cities in America. Are we stupid, or are we stupid?” Brendon pouts, and Dallon snorts.

“Yeah. Wanna be stupid together?”

“Of course. I can't wait until this week is over, because I'll be done with finals, and then I'll have a whole three months off before I have to go back in the fall.”

“Yeah, same.”

“I forgot that you're a professor.”

“Rude. I have your class schedule memorized, yet you forgot my profession.”

“You… you have that memorized?”

“Well—” Dallon sputters for a minute before figuring out what to say. “You always tell me what you're doing, so after, like, four months of that, you start to pick things up.”

Brendon giggles. “I'm not trying to bust your balls, man. I was joking. I'm just bad at remembering things sometimes. Also, I've had a long day, alright?”

“Fair enough.” On the other side of the screen, Dallon is also under a blanket, trying not to doze off while he watches Brendon's face. “You're kind of like really gorgeous. You know that, right?”

He huffs and pushes his kind of long brown hair out of his face. “Thanks, Dallon. You're kind of like really gorgeous yourself.”

“Don't mimic me, asshole.”

“I just love how you know how to sweet talk me, y'know?”

Dallon snorts, and almost laughs as Brendon goes red from what he says next. “If I was with you in person, I'd probably be leaning in to kiss you right about now.”

“Stop. I'm too gay for this shit.” Hands are on his face now.

“Brendon, you're bi.”

“Still. I'm too gay.”

The older of the two chuckles. “I like you a lot.”

“I like you a lot too.”

  



	17. 1.6

**Dallon Weekes:** I wish I could just… go back to January or something.

 **Brendon Urie:** You do you, but I don't. January was hell this year.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Consider this: I live in California.

 **Brendon Urie:** Okay, true, but still. How hot is it right now?

 **Dallon Weekes:** It's ten and it just hit a hundred.

 **Brendon Urie:** Holy shit are you okay it's like sixty something here

 **Dallon Weekes:** No I'm not. Josh isn't even here to suffer with me, which pisses me off. He went to freaking Ohio, and like, sure, I get it, he misses his boyfriend, but as his best friend, I think he needed to at _least_ take me with him.

 **Brendon Urie:** Give me a few months. I'll start walking to come save you.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Well, you live close enough to Ohio, so the least you could do is kick Josh's ass for me. Please.

 **Brendon Urie:** I'll look into it. Want me to kick Tyler's ass too?

 **Dallon Weekes:** Honestly, yeah. Beat up Mr. NBA.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Did I mention that my air conditioning quit working? Another reason Josh is about to get a boot to the ass, especially since he left me all on my own to deal with this.

 **Brendon Urie:** Can you get it fixed?

 **Dallon Weekes:** I'm waiting for my landlord to do something. It's not my fault that the AC broke, so I don't have to pay for it, but whether or not he's going to get it fixed within the next few days is a whooole other story. Can I just go live in Alaska or something? It's cold there. I can deal with cold. I wasn't meant for heat. I'm going to sweat to death.

 **Brendon Urie:** I'll go with you, man. Can't let you brave the wilds of Alaska on your own. Wanna build a cabin, and be lumberjacks when we get there?

 **Dallon Weekes:** Sounds like a plan, my man.

 **Brendon Urie:** If that wasn't intentional, I'll forgive you.

 **Dallon Weekes:** I'm prepared to not be forgiven. :)

 **Brendon Urie:** Wow. Bye.

 **Dallon Weekes:** :)


	18. 1.7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isnt... that smutty but u kno. warning jus in case it bugs anyone.

**Dallon Weekes:** Are we close enough that I can casually talk about masturbating

 **Brendon Urie:** I think so, yeah.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Good, because, holy shit, I'm fucking frustrated. I haven't had a chance to be alone in the apartment for a _month_ because fucking Tyler is visiting, and him and Josh have been fucking almost constantly, and I'm too embarrassed to get off while they're here. (Important to note that I'm just a tad bit loud. And by tad bit, I mean very.) And when they're not here, I'm either out with them, or I'm just out in general. I am so horny.

 **Brendon Urie:** They fuck? With you there?

 **Dallon Weekes:** I've lived with Josh for four years. He's shameless whenever he's entertaining now. Once you live with someone for that long, boundaries as far as privacy goes gets a little skewed.

 **Brendon Urie:** I mean, I'm not surprised at the fucking part, but damn. Sounds awkward. Thankfully, my roommate is asexual.

 **Dallon Weekes:** If you ever visit, we need to fuck at least once, and we have to be loud, just to give Joshua a taste of his own medicine.

 **Brendon Urie:** I actually laughed pretty hard at that. Not too sure why, but the situation sounds like it'd be ridiculous, but also hilarious. I'm not particularly quiet either, so I think we're gonna be just fine with that plan. :^)

 **Dallon Weekes:** Are you busy

 **Brendon Urie:** Not a bit. Why? (I'm on the Facebook website, so just pretend the eyes emoji is here.)

 **Dallon Weekes:** Well, I think that talking about my dilemma with you shifted some sort of spiritual thing, because they just left the apartment. And I just conveniently happen to have our conversation on Skype open.

 **Brendon Urie:** Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting

 **Dallon Weekes:** Maybe

 

Dallon answers Brendon's Skype call with his webcam angled down towards his crotch. Brendon's just scooted back a few feet in his desk chair, effectively giving Dallon a full view of his body, crotch up. He can tell, even through the webcam, that Brendon's face is burning, even though his expression doesn't show it, and even though the lights in his bedroom are dimmed.

The whole _experience_ of 'casually getting off in the same video call as your boyfriend' is kind of _pure,_ surprisingly. Like, it's not innocent by any means, but Dallon doesn't feel weird about it afterward, and he doesn't feel out of tune with his body like he used to whenever he'd fool around with his ex girlfriend.

Brendon doesn't say anything that's emasculating in the slightest, which is a fucking shocker for Dallon. His younger boyfriend's personality, though, does do a little bit of a flip flop as he calmly and way too smoothly takes control over the situation, mumbling out absolutely filthy things while he works himself with his fist. Dallon doesn't reveal too much of himself, aside from taking his shirt off at some point, and Brendon doesn't say anything, nor does he push him.


	19. 1.8

Dallon's rushing out of his room, in only underwear and a tank top, considering it's, like, over a hundred degrees, and the air conditioner isn't working _that good,_ the second he hears the apartment door opening again. Dallon, the silly thing he is, forgets that Tyler isn't his roommate, and that he isn't used to bluntness, at least not from the now twenty five year old, and the older of the two figures this out after the shocked and slightly mortified look that comes across his face as Dallon blurts out, “I just had Skype sex with Brendon and it was so fucking weird.”

“Brendon? _Ew.”_ Tyler makes a gagging noise, and excuses himself from the room, ripping a string of giggles from Josh and Dallon both.

“Talk to me, man. What's Skype sex like?”

“Oh, you know what it's like, Josh. You act as if I haven't heard you and Tyler going at it whenever he's in Ohio.”

Josh huffs. “Yeah, true. Also, here,” He hands Dallon a large iced tea from McDonald's and in his head, Dallon is totally worshiping Josh right about now. “You get to see his dick?”

“Dude, yeah. Dicks are so weird. Like, I don't got one, and I've only been with girls, so seeing an _actual_ dick, even if it wasn't in person, was so _weird.”_

Josh waggles his eyebrows, and tries not to give Dallon a stupid grin when he asks, “D'ya like dick?”

“Pretty sure. Fuck. That was like a religious experience, dude.”

“I don't think I've ever seen you more excited for anything in the five years I've known you.

“I can't help it. I feel like a teenager again, and not a twenty five year old who hasn't gotten laid in three years.”

“Oh, god, a three year dry spell? How do you live?”

“I don't. I've been dead on the inside since I was, like, five.”


	20. 1.9

**Brendon Urie:** Can I ask how tall you are like I've always been curious

 **Dallon Weekes:** Not tall at all. I was hoping I'd get to be, like, 6'4” or something after HRT and stuff, but I'm like 5'7” sadly.

 **Brendon Urie:** omg

 **Dallon Weekes:** What

 **Brendon Urie:** You're the only guy in my life besides Pete who's shorter than me. Holy shit.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Oh my god you're gonna rub this in my face all the time now, aren't you?

 **Brendon Urie:** Listen, I'm only 5'9” but I'm still taller.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Oh my god. At least I can rest easy knowing I have such a tall boyfriend to take care of me. (I'm rolling my eyes.)

 **Brendon Urie:** I would never let a thing hurt you, my darling prince.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Ew you're so gross and corny yet I like it

 **Brendon Urie:** :)

 **Dallon Weekes:** I love you

 **Brendon Urie:** I love you too


	21. 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> btw if their names are weekes/bread that means they're using skype instead of facebook

**weekes:** what are you doing on thanksgiving

 **bread:** sitting in my apartment, alone, eating pizza, same as every year

 **weekes:** okay this miiiight be a little much

 **weekes:** but I might or might not have gotten a raise + a bonus

 **weekes:** and I miiiight or miiiiiiiight not be able to afford plane tickets

 **bread:** what are u suggesting

 **weekes:** im just saying that my roommate is going to be in ohio with his family for thanksgiving and that we're both gonna be alone

 **weekes:** unless

 **weekes:** u know

 **bread:** but what if u dont like me in person

 **weekes:** im pretty sure thats impossible

 **weekes:** I mean if u dont wanna visit or if u dont want me to visit then thats fine but like

 **weekes:** I dont always have a spare few thousand dollars to blow on stuff like this

 **weekes:** just like… consider that

 **bread:** dont get me wrong cuz I do but like

 **bread:** anxiety u kno

 **weekes:** no man I know ive had like 10 panic attacks just bringing this up (exaggeration but im having heart palpitations and my hands are shaking because im excited)

 **bread:** I have irl business to attend to here soon but when I get home later do you wanna talk about this seriously

 **weekes:** I have a class in a few minutes anyways but whenever I get home frm work ill hit you up :)

 **bread:** :) !!!


	22. 2.1

Brendon exhales pretty sharply as he plops down next to Sarah on their couch. “You're sighing. What did Dallon do?”

“He didn't do anything, that's the thing. Okay, so, for Thanksgiving, you're going home, right?'

“That's correct, yes.”

“Alright, well, Dallon's parents basically disowned him for coming out, and we know how mine are, so either of us are gonna be alone, right? Josh is going to Ohio for Thanksgiving with Tyler and his family, and Dallon has a little extra money set aside since he got a bonus, and a raise, so he asked if I wanted to visit for Thanksgiving.”

“And? What did you say?” She's looking at him expectantly.

“I said I'd think about it.”

She scoffs and whacks him in the arm. “Go say yes, you dummy! I've listened to you pout and whine about not being able to see him in person, and now that you have an opportunity, you're suddenly getting cold feet.”

“It's just—I'm worried, alright? What if he doesn't like me?”

“That's a load of shit and you know it. Both of you are obviously crazy about each other, so I don't get why you're pussyfooting around with this. If you don't say yes, I'm going to log into your Skype account and say it for you. I still have your password saved on my laptop.”

Brendon groans. “I'll tell him tomorrow.”

“Brendon—”

“Alright, fine! I'll go tell him now.”

 

 **Brendon Urie:** Okay Sarah chewed me a new asshole because I was (or am) nervous about actually SEEING you so yes. I am saying yes before I can wuss out of it.

 **Dallon Weekes:** You sure…?

 **Brendon Urie:** Yes I am. My only condition is that you best cuddle with me and at least kiss me once, okay?

 **Dallon Weekes:** Oh, trust me, you're probably going to get a lot more than a kiss. I think, right now, I am quite possibly the happiest & giddiest I've ever been in my entire life. I literally just kissed Josh out of excitement, and he's giving me dirty looks.

 **Dallon Weekes:** [image attached]

 **Brendon Urie:** Are you _crying_

 **Dallon Weekes:** Maaaaaaaaybe. I'm smiling too though.


	23. 2.2

**Brendon Urie:** I'm in Chicago waiting for a connecting flight.

 **Dallon Weekes:** I'm already dressed and ready to leave my apartment and we still have like four hours. This all feels so surreal.

 **Brendon Urie:** The only thing I hate about having an anxiety disorder, besides the panic attacks, is that I shake uncontrollably whenever I'm nervous or excited, let alone a combination of both.

 **Dallon Weekes:** I don't know if I can handle this. I'm literally gonna throw up I'm seriously so excited but also so ridiculously nervous that you wouldn't even believe it.

 **Brendon Urie:** I probably would. Also, my flight's boarding, so I gotta go. I'll see you soon. Literally.


	24. 2.3

Brendon bites at his thumbnail nervously while he waits for his bag to come around on the conveyer belt. It takes a good ten minutes before he finally sees it. He grabs it, and starts wheeling it towards a bench, but he gets stopped about half way when _someone_ grips his arm tight and yanks him into a hug that's just about damn near suffocating. Brendon returns the hug, obviously, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't tearing up and choking on gleeful sobs.

When Dallon pulls away from the hug, either of them are gripping each others shoulders something fierce, and Brendon's the first one to make any sort of move. He reaches a hand up to cup Dallon's cheek, and it's like something out of a movie. He brushes the older man's hair out of his face, and quietly manages to get out, “You are so much more gorgeous in person than you are through a webcam. Holy shit.”

Dallon smiles way too widely, and _giggles._ “I can say the same for you. Your eyes are—they're gorgeous. I think I might be obsessed.”

“We should probably get going. We're kind of in the way.” Brendon looks around them, and snorts at the few dirty looks they're getting.

Dallon wipes at his eyes, and agrees with a soft laugh. He doesn't let Brendon carry his own suitcase, causing the younger of the two to drop a sly comment about Dallon being such a _gentleman._ “Oh, pipe down. You just spent seven hours traveling to see me. Carrying your suitcase is the least I can do.” _As is holding your hand while we walk, because I honestly don't think I can handle not touching you for even a minute._

In the car, either of them meet half way in leaning across the console to execute a messy, clumsy, teeth-clashing kind of first kiss. Either of them are good at kissing, but of course, this one is fucking terrible, but do they care? Oh, lord no. They just—they both feel blessed to _finally_ be able to do this. So, ridiculously _bless_ _ed_ _._

After the initial excitement, the kiss gets better. It's not heated or anything, but it is an emotional one. A very emotional one. Dallon's the first to pull away, again, as he's saying. “I can't fucking believe you're real.”

“Ditto. I don't think I can spend the hour it takes to get from here to Malibu without being all over you.”

“Well, you gotta try, because I'm the one with a California driver's license.”

Brendon grumbles playfully, and settles on one or two or seven more kisses before he allows Dallon to go back over to his side of the console.


	25. 2.4

Once standing safely inside of Dallon's apartment, Dallon asks, “What do we do now?”

“Honestly, I think I could use a nap. I'm a little tuckered out from traveling.”

Dallon nods thoughtfully before asking another very important question. “Are you a big or little spoon?”

Brendon seems to size him up before answering. “Depends on the person, but I'm gonna say that I'm a little spoon right now.”

Dallon nods again. “That's quite fortunate, because I'm probably the biggest spoon.”

“Oh, you aren't that big, man. If not for the fact that you're basically the same height as me, I'd say that you're a string bean.”

Dallon rolls his eyes. “You wanna cuddle with me or not? Height comments are the number one way to get kicked out.”

“Yeah, but, like, you wouldn't dare kick me out, and leave me to my own devices when… Well, listen, I can't find a reason, but when I think of one, I'll tell you.”

Dallon chuckles. “I'll make a deal. Keep the height comments to a minimum, and then we can take a nap together and totally be disgusting and adorable while we're at it, alright?”

“I think I can come to terms with that.” Brendon smirks, before stepping closer to Dallon again to kiss him, softly, on the lips.

Dallon leads him to his bedroom, and once in the room, Brendon's saying, “Wow, shit. Your room is bigger than I thought it was.”

“You've only seen it from my bed and my desk.”

“What size bed do you have, because that's fucking huge.”

“King sized, and it's memory foam. When I moved out, this was the first thing I saved to buy. Cost a pretty penny, but my back doesn't hurt in the mornings, so I figure it's a fair trade.”

“See, you're smarter than I am,” Brendon starts as he sits on the edge of the bed to start taking his shoes off. “I blow all my money immediately, rather than saving, usually. I'm not incapable, but I'm impulsive.”

“I can sympathize.”

“Oh, hey, full disclosure, but I usually sleep in my underwear. If it bugs you, I can put on sweatpants or something.” Brendon shrugs as he peels his jeans off. “Oh, holy shit, I never realize how much I hate skinny jeans until I've been stuck in them for a day.”

Dallon rolls his eyes. “You're fine on the underwear. Usually, I sleep either naked or in my underwear anyways. Just as long as you can deal with my cold feet and hands, then I think I can deal with your underwear.”

“I think I need cold feet and hands. I'm basically a space heater.” Brendon peels his shirt off next, then lazily rolls across Dallon's bed.

Brendon averts his gaze when Dallon starts peeling his own clothes off, until the older man is saying, “You can look atme, dude.”

Brendon totally obviously checks Dallon out, and the older man snorts. “You have a nice ass.”

“Thanks. I try my best.”


	26. 2.5

Dallon wakes with a start, mostly since he isn't used to waking up in the same bed as someone else anymore. Brendon's pretty much attached to Dallon's side, snoring softly, and Dallon can't help but to grin widely. He's adorable and so, so beautiful. He can feel Brendon's morning (or late afternoon) wood pressed against his leg, and he kind of wants to laugh, but he also doesn't wanna wake his sleeping boyfriend up.

He looks over at his alarm clock, and sees that they slept for a good five hours, making it five in the evening. He pats Brendon on the back gently until he wakes up, earning him a very loud groan of protest. “Why… are you waking me up…?”

“It's five, and we should probably avoid messing up our sleep schedules, especially considering I'm a professor,” Comes Dallon's sleepy and mostly mumbled response.

Brendon grunts. “You're warm.”

“So are you. I'll make a deal. If you can get up, I will cook. Either that, or I'll go get something from a fast food place.”

“But, like… Why would I want to get up to eat when I got you right here?” He tugs the blanket further up on the two of them, and Dallon rolls his eyes.

“Would I help my case if I said that I was hungry, and that you're basically starving me right now?”

Brendon scoffs and sits up a little bit to look at Dallon. “You are _not_ starving.”

“I haven't eaten since last night.”

Brendon scoffs louder this time, and whacks Dallon in the chest. “That ain't good, you ass. Get up and get something to eat.”

“Okay, but if I'm eating, you're eating too,” He argues. “I'm doing my best to be a totally sweet and caring boyfriend, okay?”


	27. 2.6

Brendon puts on a pair of sweatpants and one of Dallon's sweatshirts, and the older of the two puts on shorts and a tank top; his usual attire for when he's at home. They settle onto the couch just to chat each other up while they wait for a pizza to arrive. “You ever dated any other cis guys before?”

Dallon snorts. “Nope. Hear me out—I'm a guy, like, no doubt about it, so excuse how I'm phrasing this—in high school, I had a phase where I thought that me wanting to be a boy meant I was a lesbian, so I only dated girls. After I came out to my long term girlfriend when I was, like… twenty-ish, I admitted that I do, in fact, like guys as well.”

“That's… interesting, actually. You seriously thought you were a lesbian?”

Dallon makes a face. “Yep. If I had any alcohol in my hand right now, I'd be taking a pretty huge swig of it.”

Brendon cracks a joke about Dallon being an alcoholic that earns him a gentle jab to the arm with an elbow.

“Probably worth mentioning, but my parents don't know that I'm, like… a guy.” Dallon squints at nothing.

“Why not?” And now Brendon's brows are furrowed. Dallon kind of likes how he's just a bit clueless.

“I told you they cut me off after I came out, right? They think I'm a lesbian. They haven't seen or spoken to me since I was eighteen. I tried calling and messaging them on Facebook and stuff like that, but I never got a response, so I figure… Fuck them. If they won't try, then why should I bother, ya know? This'll probably all blow up in my face once they do find out, but still.” Dallon shrugs and leans over until his head is laying on Brendon's shoulder, and until he's able to glue himself to his boyfriend's side.

“I still talk to my parents sometimes. I mean, they kicked me out for the atheist thing and weren't too happy about the queer thing, but my mom is trying to fix our relationship. Dad's… a dick. Man, do I have permission to hate your parents? They sound mean.”

“Nah. They're nice, or they can be, but like… They're real religious, and something like this was kind of just… a _shock._ I'm all resentful and shit, but I can understand why they reacted how they did, even if it was the shittiest thing anyone's ever done to me aside from the girlfriend incident a few years ago.”

“Does anyone else in your family know? Also, like, feel free to kick my ass if I'm being too nosy.”

Dallon clicks his tongue. “Don't worry about it. You have permission to be as nosy as you want. Within reason.”

“Well, I mean, I'm not gonna ask like _super_ personal stuff that isn't any of my business, but like… Family stuff is worth knowing, y'know…?”

“I know, man. Anyways, yeah, my siblings know about everything. I got a brother and a sister. My brother was kind of _iffy_ about it, and he still is, but he didn't cut off contact or anything. My sister was more cool with it. She's pretty great. I haven't seen her since I was twenty, which fucking _sucks.”_ Dallon groans and shifts his position even more. “How do you think _your_ parents are gonna react?” He looks up, blinking his eyes in a way that's, like, really fucking adorable, and Brendon absolutely _melts._

“I don't think they'll care, but they're probably gonna ask a bunch of invasive questions. You, uh, don't gotta tell them, by the way. It's like… none of their business. But I mean, if you wanna, then go right ahead. Either way, I think they'll like you, even if it's only because _I_ do.”

Dallon sighs, wistfully. “You're awfully sweet.”

“I try.”


	28. 2.7

**Josh Dun:** There's condoms in the bathroom btw

**Dallon Weekes:** He's been here for eight hours, Josh. I'm not sleeping with him yet.

**Josh Dun:** I'm just saying. There's condoms. In the bathroom. Along with lube if you need it.

**Dallon Weekes:** You're like an overbearing parent. Jesus fucking christ.

**Josh Dun:** Well I'd be a shitty best friend/roommate if I wasn't like that. You keep condoms around for when Tyler's there, so I'm keeping condoms around for when Urie is thre.

**Dallon Weekes:** Why 'Urie'

**Josh Dun:** Why not

* * *

 

**Josh Dun:** There are condoms in the bathroom in the cupboard next to the toilet.

**Brendon Urie:** … thanks.

**Josh Dun:** Ur welcome

**Brendon Urie:** Are you trying to peer pressure us into having sex

**Josh Dun:** That's not important.

**Brendon Urie:** You're the worst omg

**Josh Dun:** ik

* * *

 

“Josh knows we're on a date, right…?” Brendon asks as he looks at his phone, skimming the condom conversation carefully.

“He telling you about the condoms? He was talking to me about it yesterday.” Dallon huffs and takes a small bite of his hamburger. “He's like the supportive and overbearing mom I never had.”

“Yeah, he's… he's like that. He was my go-to guy in high school if I needed condoms but didn't have money, honestly,” Brendon trails off during the last sentence as he turns his phone off and sets it, face down, on the table next to his own meal. He looks at Dallon, who is picking at a fingernail, and can't stop himself before saying, “You are so fucking beautiful. Holy shit.”

He cracks a dumb little grin. “You've told me about a thousand times already.”

“I'll tell you about a thousand more, then. You just have, like, really gorgeous eyes. They're so _blue._ And—and your _face._ Like, damn, you're so… Good.”

Dallon's giggling. “You have such a way with words. So eloquent.”

 


	29. 2.8

On Thanksgiving, the two men sit around in their underwear, sharing a bottle of wine and a hundred bucks worth of chicken nuggets from McDonald's.

“ This has honestly got to be the best Thanksgiving I've ever had,” is what Brendon says about half way through the bottle of wine. “Everyone I know always likes to be traditional, and they go all out, but like—a fuck ton of chicken nuggets?  _ That's  _ what I call a quality meal.”

“ First year I lived with Josh, he made me try cooking a turkey breast. Long story short, the complex got evacuated, and we almost got evicted. Since then, I have stuck to fast food and booze. Though,” Dallon leans over a few feet, past a few open boxes of chicken nuggets, so he can gently kiss Brendon on the lips, “I figured that wine would have to do this year. Needs to be all romantic and shit.”

“ Because eating chicken nuggets and drinking wine in our underwear is  _ so  _ romantic.” Brendon rolls his eyes, and grins, before kissing back.

The older man pushes a little huff of laughter out through his nose, and breaks the kiss to respond. “It totally is. Don't lie.”

Brendon squints, playfully. “Are you  _ hitting _ on me?” he asks, in a playful tone.

And Dallon rolls his eyes for the millionth time that week. Lovingly, of course. “Maybe, maybe not. What if I am, though?” Eyebrows are wiggling.

Brendon sighs, sarcastically, and sprawls out across what he can of the couch, saying, “Take me, Dallon. My body is yours.”

“ You are so killing the mood right now. That was so not hot.”

Brendon scoffs and throws a chicken nugget at him. “Take that back. That was the sexiest thing I've  _ ever  _ done.”

Dallon throws the nugget back at him. “Dude, no. That was not sexy at all.”

“ At least I'm trying, man. You're just sitting there, doing nothing.” Brendon uses his right hand to gesture up and down Dallon's body, which he's, you guessed it, doing nothing with.

The twenty five year old in the room snorts. “Well, judging by your boner, I'd beg to differ.”

“ Listen, man, you could show me a picture of a tree, and I'd probably pop a hard on.”

“ Okay—okay—we're officially the weirdest couple ever. Like, I think normal couples would've already jumped each other at this point, but we're here arguing about, like, nothing, basically.” Dallon keeps interrupting himself with dumb little giggles, acting as if he's a little more drunk than he actually is. (Which isn't much, by the way.)

Brendon tilts his head for a split moment as if to say, “True,” before he stands up, and stumbles a little bit, working his way over to Dallon's side of the couch, so he can seat himself in the man's lap. They stop bantering with each other, rather opting to just continue kissing, waiting to see if anything happens. They move together fluidly, with some sort of rhythm, even if it's a kind of messy one.

Brendon's a little surprised at this, but it's Dallon's hands that start wandering. Brendon's been making it a point to keep his hands above Dallon's waist, whereas Dallon didn't waste a whole lot of time before copping a pretty good feel of Brendon's ass. Brendon's just a little shocked, and with how he jumped a bit, it causes his dick, which is, like, really fucking hard right now, to rub up against the front of Dallon's hips. Brendon chokes back a  _ noise,  _ refusing to break the kiss while he's at it, but, alas, Dallon lets him down, and breaks the kiss to give him a shit eating look. “Seriously?  _ That  _ did something?”

Brendon hides his face in Dallon's shoulder. “Shut up, man. I'm not as composed as you are.”

“ If it helps, I am getting a  _ little  _ desperate for things to move on at least a bit.”

At this, Brendon's head snaps back up _.  _ Okay, not so much as snapped, but more like he lifted his head to make eye contact. “How much is a bit?”

“ I dunno. Further than making out in our underwear I guess…?”

“ Aw, you're so red. That's adorable.”

Dallon hushes him.

“ I'm just worried about pushing things, or I probably would've, like, shoved my hand down your underwear already.”

Dallon can't help but to cackle from the sheer bluntness of his statement. “Listen, let's get the fuck ton of chicken nuggets put away, and then we could possibly move this to the bedroom to get some hands in underwear action going. How does that sound?”

“ Sounds like a plan.”

Dallon clicks his tongue.

Brendon kisses him quickly before tumbling off of his lap.

* * *

 

Two minutes of frantically shoving boxes of chicken nuggets into the fridge and grabbing the box of condoms Josh had told them about from the bathroom later, Dallon's sitting on Brendon's lap this time, and Brendon's just about to slide a hand down the back of Dallon's boxers to grab at his ass when Dallon stops him, saying, “Hey, I need to ask something,” in one of his quiet and insecure tones.

He politely places his hand back on Dallon's waist, and adjusts their position a bit so he can look him in the eye, only grunting once. “What is it?”

“ Safe words. Like—uh—with my ex-girlfriend we had safe words, because sometimes I'd get really uncomfortable or upset or whatever else and we'd have to stop, so, y'know… I kinda like… need them.”

“ Oh, dude, that's completely fine. You don't even have to ask; just tell me.” Brendon gives him a serious yet reassuring look.

“ Okay, uh… I don't think you're the kind of guy who'd make fun of me or anything, but, promise you wont…?”

“ Pinky promise.” Brendon holds up a pinky, and Dallon grips it with his own pinky as tight as he can.

“ I kinda like using the stoplight system. Green means I'm good and that we're doing alright, yellow for slow down, because things are probably going too fast or I'm getting overwhelmed, and red for stop. Also, uh… If I say California that's like…  _ more  _ serious than red. Extra red. You get me? I'm fucking terrible at explaining this shit.” Dallon groans a little bit and covers his face.

Brendon peels his hands away, saying, “I get you. Do you wanna slow down right now…?”

Dallon rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “We've been putting this off for like four days, and if I don't have something in me within the next ten minutes, I'm probably going to die.”

Brendon rolls his eyes a bit and grins, resuming previous activities of kissing Dallon, before going ahead and actually grabbing at Dallon's ass with a hand down the back of his boxers. A minute or two later, he tugs at the waistband of Dallon's boxers, asking, “You wanna take these off…?”

Dallon shifts a little bit, before replying with, “You first.”

“ Alright.” Brendon shoos Dallon off of his thighs so he can slide his own boxers down his thighs, and the rest of his legs, before tossing them to a different part of the bedroom.

“ I don't think I'm going to get over how weird dicks look. Can I, uh…?”

Dallon gestures towards Brendon's dick, does the motion for hand job, and his boyfriend shrugs. “Go for it. Also, they ain't that weird. I've seen some grody chodes in my day. I at least trim and clean down there regularly.”

Dallon has to allow himself to snort before climbing back onto Brendon's thighs, this time free of his own underwear. “You're kind of a goofball.” He notices that Brendon's making it a point not to look any further down than Dallon's chest, which, of course, prompts him to say, “You can look, dude. S'nothing special down there.”

And Brendon does look. He doesn't look shocked or anything, just a little curious in a way that's completely normal to Dallon. Hands rub up and down his thighs, and thumbs dig in here and there. Dallon finally gets around to wrapping one of his slender hands around Brendon's dick while the younger's grip on Dallon's thighs tightens considerably. Dallon smirks a bit, and slowly strokes Brendon's member, trying to figure out what the hell he's doing. He's watching Brendon's face closely and carefully, looking for any hints or signs that he's doing something wrong, but, alas, not finding anything other than shy pleasure.

Brendon ends up awkwardly rolling Dallon over onto his back, before leaning over the edge of the bed to fetch the box of condoms and the bottle of lube that'd fallen onto the floor at some point. “Sensual berry? What the fuck kind of flavor…?” Brendon mumbles as he reads the bottle.

Dallon props himself up on his elbows. “Josh bought flavored lube? Seriously?” He looks a little mortified. Just a little.

“…  Apparently.” Brendon unscrews the lid on it, and peels off the protective seal, before screwing the lid back on, and squirting the tiniest bit onto the pad of his index finger. He sticks it in his mouth, and takes a good moment to examine the flavor. “Huh. It's not bad. Try it,” He puts a tiny bit more onto his other index finger, and holds it towards Dallon.

The older man gives him an, “Am I really about to do this?” look before taking the tip of the index finger past his lips, and sorta shyly licking it with his tongue before Brendon pulls it back slowly. “You're right. It's not bad.”

“ Y'know, I kinda wanna try it some more,” Brendon states in a mischievous tone that Dallon doesn't catch at first as he moves back across the bed on his knees.

“ I mean, you have the bottle rig— _ oh.  _ Oh.  _ Uh.”  _ Eyes are wide, cheeks are redder than before, and legs are bending and closing themselves as subtly as possible.

Brendon doesn't make any move to push Dallon's thighs apart, much to Dallon's relief. He just asks, “Can I go down on you, or do you wanna slow down or stop or something?”

“ 'm jus' nervous is all,” He mumbles in response as he avoids eye contact.

Brendon rubs a comforting hand down Dallon's calf. “You know I love you more than anything, right? Dunno if I've said it yet tonight.”

“ You haven't. I love you too, though. A lot.”

Brendon grins and kisses Dallon's knee before the older man moves his thighs apart again. After asking for permission a few more times, Brendon doesn't waste any more time as he drops down to his elbows. Dallon gasps when his thighs are thrown over Brendon's shoulders, and lets out a sorta surprised, “Oh wow,” when he feels a tongue give a little kitten lick to his clit.

Brendon licks and sucks gently for a bit before gently sliding one of Dallon's thighs off of a shoulder so he can slick a few of his fingers up with a bit of the flavored lube. “You were serious about trying more of it…?”

“ Have I ever lied to you?” Brendon mumbles as he clicks the lid to the bottle shut, before winking at Dallon. The older man blushes a little bit and he's about to make a remark but Brendon's mouth has resumed its previous actions, and now there's two fingers slowly working him open and drawing the prettiest little noises from his mouth.

Dallon links his fingers with those of Brendon's left hand, and uses the fingers on his other hand to grab Brendon's hair, mostly out of reflex. Brendon moans after Dallon accidentally yanks on his hair, and the vibrations of the younger man's voice sends the smallest jolts of pleasure up and down his body. “Christ, don't do that,” Dallon manages to get out as he thwacks his head back against his pillow.

Brendon takes him seriously, though, and his head pops up so he can say, “Do what?”

“ Did I say  _ stop?” _

“ Well—no—but—”

“ You made a noise and it surprised me, alright?”

Brendon rolls his eyes, and kisses both of Dallon's thighs, before kissing his knuckles, then going back to eating his boyfriend out. Dallon ends up stopping him again a few minutes later, on purpose this time, whining out, “Just fuck me already,  _ please,”  _ and, boy, is Brendon more than  _ happy  _ to oblige.

Dallon pants softly as he watches Brendon fumble around trying to get a condom open and rolled onto his dick. “Okay, uh… your fingers are a lot smaller than that.”

Brendon's eyes snap to Dallon's face. “Do you wanna stop?”

“ Not at all. I'm just nervous again, sorry.” Dallon adjusts his position to be more comfortable after saying that, and doesn't say anything when Brendon hushes him.

“ Don't apologize, man. I could probably throw up right now just from nerves, but you don't see me apologizing, now do you?”

Dallon snorts, softly, and bumps Brendon in the hip with one of his knees. “Don't throw up. It'd ruin the moment.”

Brendon rolls his eyes again and smiles a closed mouth smile. “I'll try.” He scoots closer, and, one last time, he asks, “And you're  _ sure  _ about this?”

Dallon drawls his response out. “Brendon, I'm not going to break. I'm sure, just, go slow, alright?”

He nods, and positions his dick properly before slowly starting to push in. Dallon winces, obviously not used to the stretch, and links his fingers with Brendon's once more. Once bottomed out, Brendon leans down and presses his lips to Dallon's, tenderly, and runs his free hand through his boyfriend's kind of long brown hair. He mumbles a sort of (read: very) emotional, “I love you,” into Dallon's lips before he starts thrusting gently, grinning when Dallon returns the sentiment.

* * *

 

“ I'm, like, ninety nine point nine percent sure that I'm in love with you,” Dallon's saying as he falls into post coital cuddles with his boyfriend.

“ Are you sure you wanna be in love with me? I'm kind of a mess.”

“ A very hot, loving, and kind mess. I'm sure.”

“ And it's not just because we just had sex, right?”

Dallon shakes his head. “Nah. That's not it. I mean, that was fucking amazing and all, but it's not that. There's something about you that I can't put my finger on, y'know?”

“ I know, I definitely know. I'm just irresistible.”

“ Asshole. You're supposed to say you're in love with me too.” Dallon nips Brendon's neck, gently, then kisses where he nipped.

“ Dallon James Weekes, I am in love with you. How's that?”

“ It'll do, I  _ suppose.”  _ Dallon giggles sleepily, before letting his eyes droop closed, reveling in the feeling of his lover's arms around him, warm, safe, and protective.


	30. 2.9

The next day, Friday, Dallon's all over Brendon, hugging him, kissing him, laying on him when he can, and Brendon just lets him do what he wants. (Within reason, of course.) They make breakfast in their underwear, and can't look each other in the eye for longer than a few seconds without going red in the face and giggling stupidly.

They sit on the couch, curled up under a blanket, watching the morning news, and cracking jokes about the Black Friday madness that's already going on, before changing the channel to some TV show that Dallon likes. Brendon watches Dallon more than the show, trying to take in all of his features, admiring the way his expression changes wildly when even the littlest thing happens.

They go out for a few hours in the afternoon to get something to eat and to do a little shopping of their own, before going back to the apartment to just hang out and have fun in their own little world.

Of course, though, the one time either of them are interrupted within the whole week happens when Dallon has a hand down Brendon's pants while they watch some shitty gay flick from the LGBT subcategory on Netflix. They hadn't been paying attention in the first place, but rather kissing each other and just messing around a bit, when the door to the apartment flies open, and a voice Brendon hasn't heard since he graduated, says, “Oh,  _ c'mon,  _ I watch TV there.”

Dallon's hand pretty much flies out of Brendon's pants as he says, “I thought you weren't going to be back until tomorrow!”

“ I said  _ Friday.” _

“ You gave me the  _ date.” _

“ Okay—the two of you can… continue your funny business, but at least wait until I'm in my room or something.” Josh sighs and shakes his head slightly as he wheels his suitcase into, presumably, his room.


	31. 3.0

**Dallon Weekes:** I really didn't think I'd miss you this much

**Dallon Weekes:** Please come back

**Brendon Urie:** I cried throughout most of my flight lol

**Brendon Urie:** Christmas. I'll see what I can do for Christmas. :( I really wanna go back immediately I don't care if I have to sit in uncomfortable plane seats for another six hours I will tolerate it

**Dallon Weekes:** I'm not usually so weepy but you got me fucked up real good, man.

**Brendon Urie:** This is kidna creepy but I keep smelling your jacket because it smells like you

**Dallon Weekes:** I've been doing that with your sweater

**Dallon Weekes:** Anyways. I have a bone to pick with you, despite being all emotional.

**Brendon Urie:** what did I do

**Dallon Weekes:** [image attached]

**Dallon Weekes:** You're literally twelve.

**Brendon Urie:** I had to assert my dominance.

**Dallon Weekes:** WHAT DOMINANCE

**Dallon Weekes:** YOU'RE THE BIGGEST PUSHOVER!

**Dallon Weekes:** Also hickeys arent the way to go when asserting dominance

**Dallon Weekes:** I got called out by my students today. “So, Mister Weekes, how was your weekend? You, uh, got a lil something on your neck.”

**Dallon Weekes:** Someone actually said that to me.

**Brendon Urie:** slhkjnlbvkjd hahahahhaha

**Brendon Urie:** What'd you say

**Dallon Weekes:** I said my boyfriend was visiting for Thanksgiving, and that he got a little carried away.

**Brendon Urie:** Hmm, not too far from the truth.

**Dallon Weekes:** I'm not detailing my sex life to my class. I know it's gay studies, but not  _ that  _ gay.

**Brendon Urie:** I love you so much

* * *

 

“ Hey, buddy, what's wrong?” Josh frowns as he steps over to his crying roommate, who is on the couch, curled up under a blanket.

“ Been having a shitty month since Brendon left, and he can't afford to come visit, and I can't afford to pay for him to come visit over Christmas, and it's what I've been looking forward to. Also, my Mom got my number from my fucking sister, and I panicked and lied and said she had the wrong number when she asked for me.”

Josh sighs and sits on the floor in front of the couch, and runs his hand through Dallon's hair. “Parents aren't really my area of expertise, but if ya want, I can probably ask Tyler if he can give me a bit of money so you could come with me when I go home? And if we have a few days free or something we could probably drive to New York and see Brendon for a day or something.”

Dallon shakes his head and hides his face. “Too much to ask.”

“ You've gone home with me before, dude, and there's also a chance Brendon's gonna go home to see his parents, and they live in Columbus, so, like…? C'mon. Also, we both know that if you stay here alone, you're gonna just drink all my booze and smoke all my pot while feeling sorry for yourself.”

Dallon grumbles, and bats Josh away, signaling that he needs some space, at least for a little bit.


	32. 3.1

**Josh Dun:** Are you gonna visit your parents during break

**Brendon Urie:** I might. Just depends on the roads and if I can afford the gas.

**Josh Dun:** Borrow money from Sarah or your parents or something for gas, then.

**Brendon Urie:** Why lmao? Do you miss me? ;)

**Josh Dun:** No but your boyfriend does and I talked him into coming home with me during break. (Also I do miss you but it sounded better and less awkward if I said no, okay? I still consider you one of my best friends even though we don't talk a whole lot anymore.)

**Brendon Urie:** !!! (same to all of that)

**Brendon Urie:** Are we gonna surprise him or does he know

**Josh Dun:** I told him that there's a chance you'd visit your parents but I didn't sound sure because I hadn't asked so on one hand it could be a surprise but on the other he could be totally not surprised.

**Josh Dun:** I don't wanna surprise him though cuz he's been really stressed lately :( Might be better just to tell him.

* * *

 

**Brendon Urie:** Hey

**Dallon Weekes:** Hello husband

**Brendon Urie:** We are not married

**Dallon Weekes:** We are now

**Brendon Urie:** shit im not prepared for matrimony……

**Dallon Weekes:** I'm not either

**Dallon Weekes:** Maybe one day

**Brendon Urie:** Nope, not maybe. One day I will marry the shit out of you.

**Dallon Weekes:** You're cute

**Brendon Urie:** Thank you, so are you. :) So, you're going home w/Josh for Christmas?

**Dallon Weekes:** Yep. Two weeks around his and Tyler's parents. Fun. (I like his parents but Tyler's are kinda… eh.)

**Brendon Urie:** You wanna know what's cool?

**Dallon Weekes:** Me

**Brendon Urie:** True, but I am also going home for Christmas :)

**Brendon Urie:** Which means, 1, we can see each other after all !!!, 2, you get to meet my parents.

**Dallon Weekes:** WAIT SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT JOSH WAS JUST SAYING THAT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

**Brendon Urie:** Man, you really must want to meet my parents.

**Dallon Weekes:** YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

**Brendon Urie:** I do, I do. I mean, he probably was, but I was also debating on bumming some gas money from my parents anyways, so, like, now it's not a debate. I'm gonna. I am driving eight hours for you, man. When are you gonna travel for me? >:(

**Dallon Weekes:** Money, man, money. If I had the money I would probably come see you every chance I got.

**Brendon Urie:** That's gay.

**Dallon Weekes:** We aren't even gay

**Brendon Urie:** It's still gay.


	33. 3.2

**Dallon Weekes:** Drive faaaaster I miss you

**Brendon Urie:** calm down romeo im at a gas station about half way

**Dallon Weekes:** Well hurry up >:(

**Brendon Urie:** omg ok I just paid for my gas give me fourish hours

* * *

 

**Brendon Urie:** I told Dallon I was only half way there but I'm literally like two blocks from your house, stuck in traffic.

**Josh Dun:** he's gonna kill u

**Josh Dun:** Either that or blow you immediately

**Brendon Urie:** he has never blown me

**Josh Dun:** always a first time for everything

* * *

 

“ Okay, he's taking a shower. I tried stopping him, but he's stubborn and never lets me have my way,” Josh explains the second he opens the front door to his parent's house. Josh's mom smiles and waves at Brendon politely from further in the house, and Jordan throws a candy cane from across the room as soon as he sees Brendon.

Brendon catches the candy cane, and thanks the younger Dun brother. “Seriously? You couldn't have stalled him for ten minutes?” He asks, quietly, as he slips his shoes off.

“ Dude, no. Like I said, he's stubborn. Anyways, you remember where my old room is right? You should go wait in there. Scare the shit out of him for me.”

“ For you? More like for me,” Brendon mutters as he goes up the stairs. He pokes his head into a room, sighing in relief when he realizes that it's Josh's old room. It looks the same, honestly, besides the hole in the wall from the 'Pete and Brendon need to learn not to roughhouse' incident being covered up, kinda sloppily, with plaster. Brendon flops down onto Josh's bed, and pulls his phone out, deciding to send a few messages to Dallon on Facebook.

 

**Brendon Urie:** I hate driving. My ass is always sore after I drive for a long time. There's only one time where a sore ass is acceptable, and this is not one of those times.

**Brendon Urie:** If you get me ;)

**Dallon Weekes:** (I'm supposed to be taking a shower but I had to pee in the middle so I'm replying) (don't judge me)

**Dallon Weekes:** I can barely manage the drive from Malibu to Los Angeles. Idk how you're managing NYC to Columbus.

**Brendon Urie:** I mean, I get to see you, so that's, like… a fair trade. Also quit talking to me while u pee

**Dallon Weekes:** Listen, mister, you've literally called me on the phone while you've taken shits before. Don't even start. Also, I'm done now, so I'm gonna go finish my shower.

 

Brendon just grins at his phone and giggles softly at his boyfriend.  _God, I love him. What a superb guy._


	34. 3.3

**Josh Dun:** Dallon's in the kitchen I thought he was gonna go get dressed in my room not the bathroom

**Brendon Urie:** He's got about ten minutes to get in here before I fall asleep. I'm tired and your bed is comfortable.

**Josh Dun:** Okay I asked him if he'd go get something for me u have about twenty seconds to prep and I hear him shouting good luck, friend

 

“ You fucking liar!” Dallon shouts as he throws himself onto Brendon, wrapping arms around him, and hugging him as tight as he can. “I thought I had more time! I haven't even brushed my hair.”

“ I like your hair, even if it's getting my jacket wet,” Brendon mutters lovingly as he returns the hug. “I also love you.”

 

Dallon throws on a pair of alright jeans, some decent shoes, and a dress shirt under his wool coat before Brendon carries his suitcase and his carry on out to his car. They'd already agreed that Dallon was going to stay with Brendon at his parents' house beforehand. “My parents aren't home, by the way,” Brendon says, as if it were an afterthought, as he sits down in the driver's seat.

“ Where are they?” Dallon asks, curiously, as he's buckling his seat belt.

“ Work. Break for high school students doesn't start until next week, so they probably won't be home until this evening.”

“ Oh.” Dallon nods, and a few minutes of comfortable silence later, he has a realization. “We're gonna have quite a bit of alone time.”

“ I'm well aware,” Brendon's eyebrows are raised, and Dallon can tell that he's biting his cheek, even if it's only slightly.

When Brendon's stopped at a light, Dallon catches his attention, and wiggles his brows playfully, causing the younger of the two to giggle. “You're a dork, Dallon.”

“ I know, but we haven't seen each other since Thanksgiving, and, like, I have needs, man.”

Brendon just outright laughs at that.

 

“ How long until your parents get home?” Dallon mumbles, sleepily, into his boyfriend's neck as they cuddle in Brendon's bed post-sex.

“ Gonna be a while, probably. You can nap if you want,” Brendon mumbles back as he scoots closer to Dallon, melting in his embrace.

“ We gotta talk about my parents, by the way,” Dallon says, a few minutes later, just before falling asleep.

“ Later. Too fucked out for grown up things.”

“ Same.”

 

Dallon decides against telling Brendon's parents that he's trans, figuring he'd say something if it was ever absolutely necessary. Brendon's totally cool with his decision, what with only wanting Dallon to be happy.

His parents like Dallon. A lot. Brendon doesn't think they've ever really liked anyone he's dated, and he's glad that Dallon just so happens to be the one they like, since Dallon's the one that  _ he  _ likes. They all sit around the dinging table, eating, and every time Brendon's parents ask a question, Dallon puts on his charm, and answers them accordingly.

Brendon corners his mother in the kitchen, while she does dishes, after his father goes to bed, and while Dallon sits on the patio smoking a cigarette. “Hey, Ma.”

“ Hello, Son,” she answers back slightly too cheerily, eyebrows raised a tad bit. She hands Brendon a rag, and tells him to dry dishes while they talk.

“ Do you like him?” Brendon asks, sort of insecurely, before taking a plate from her.

“ Dallon? I do, honey, I do. He's very nice, not to mention handsome.” His mother knocks into him with her hip, and Brendon huffs.

“ I love him, Mom. It's kind of scary.”

Mrs. Urie smiles knowingly, handing Brendon a bowl this time. “Felt that way with your father once upon a time. My advice for you is to hold onto that boy; don't let go for no one or nothing.”

“ I wont.”


	35. 3.4

“ What was it with your parents you wanted to talk about?” Brendon asks, quietly, as Dallon rubs his back while they share a bath together.

“ My mom called my phone last week, asking for a Kaylee. Told her she had a wrong number.”

Brendon snorts and adjusts himself a bit, leaning into Dallon's hands, before responding. “What the hell kind of name is  _ Kaylee?” _

“ Dunno. Ask her and my dad.”

“ How'd she even get your number?” Brendon scoots back, now, pressing his back against Dallon's chest.

“ My sister gave it to her.”

Brendon mutters, “Cunt,” under his breath, and Dallon chuckles as he kisses the top of Brendon's head.

“ She can be. Anyways, I think I need to just… tell them. It's been four—almost five—years since I first came out to anyone. Not like I have much else to lose when it comes to parents anyways. Already got cut off, so who cares, right?”

“ It's up to you. I'll support you no matter what, man.”

“ Y'know, I love you so much, Brendon. You're literally the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.”

“ You're totally wrong, but you do you.”

“ Listen, dude. You make me feel safe. Like, right now, I'm not as scared of my parents as I should be, because you're here, and I trust you to have my back, y'know?”

Brendon nods. “I'm sleepy, but imagine that there's some sort of intelligent and sappy response coming from my mouth.”

“ To reiterate: I love you.”

 

“ God, I'm having flashbacks to senior year,” Brendon mumbles into the back of his arm as he lays on the floor, in Josh's bedroom.

“ Three hits and you're already gonked—Christ. How long has it been since you've gotten stoned?” Josh asks with a roll of his eyes that Brendon doesn't see.

“ Few years, probably. Not like I have the money to blow on dope.”

“ I'm a professor. I shouldn't be doing this,” Dallon's saying, voice a little higher pitched than usual, obviously a little stressed as he gets handed the joint. “I get tested for drugs every other month.”

“ Oh, just light up,  _ Craig.”  _ Tyler groans, obviously tired of hearing Dallon's holier than thou spiel.

Brendon giggles and rolls onto his side. “Craig? Why Craig?”

“ It's… a meme.” Tyler shakes his head, not wanting to explain.

“ Laaame.” Brendon sits up again, and scoots over a few feet to tuck himself into Dallon's side. “Man, have you always been this warm?”

“ Has he always been so cuddly when he's stoned?” Dallon asks Josh, a slightly confused frown on his face.

Josh looks grim as he nods. “Always.”

Brendon ends up falling asleep, laying on Dallon's lap, while the other three adults bullshit back and forth, up until it's  _ later,  _ and Dallon's leading a very,  _ very  _ sleepy Brendon to the guest room in Josh's house.


	36. 3.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cw // miscarriages

**Dallon Weekes:** You know what I just loooveee

**Brendon Urie:** me

**Dallon Weekes:** Haha true but that's not it

**Dallon Weekes:** I love when I'm in the middle of a lecture then suddenly have to throw up

**Dallon Weekes:** @ my stomach: Did I ask? Hm?

**Brendon Urie:** Too bad I'm in New York again smh I'd bring you some tums or something

**Dallon Weekes:** Valentine's Present—put enough money in my Paypal for a bottle of tums.

**Brendon Urie:** I'm rolling my eyes. I do have something corny planned, by the way.

**Dallon Weekes:** Oh no

**Brendon Urie:** Oh yes. :)

 

Dallon wakes up at 2:57 AM on the Monday before Valentine's to sharp pain shooting up his sides, stomach, and back.  _ This is… fine. This is fine.  _ His hand flies out to his bedside table to turn on his lamp, and he just about faints after pulling back his duvet to see that he's literally laying in a puddle of blood.  _ Even better. _

He pretty much  _ flies _ out of his bed, and attempts to get to his dresser to grab a pair of briefs before heading to the bathroom, but ends up doubling over after another wave of  _ pain _ . The only other time he'd felt anything like this had been during what he likes to dub as  _ Shark Week,  _ which had been a monthly occurrence from the time he was twelve, up until he'd started HRT.

Whatever's happening, though, he knows it's not  _ right,  _ and that  _ something  _ is just  _ wrong. _

 

**Dallon Weekes:** We really gotta talk.

**Brendon Urie:** After two and a half weeks of radio silence I would say so. Did I do something?

**Dallon Weekes:** Kind of

**Brendon Urie:** Neat. Tell me what so I can try to fix it or something.

**Dallon Weekes:** Remember how I thought we'd be okay not using condoms when we saw each other around Christmas?

**Brendon Urie:** yeah

**Dallon Weekes:** Okay, well, sometime over the span of those few weeks happened to be the one time in five years that I've ovulated. And I might or might not have had a miscarriage a few weeks ago.

**Brendon Urie:** Is this some sort of April fool's joke

**Dallon Weekes:** Yes, because me, the trans guy, who has (almost) crippling dysphoria with even the slightest mention of him and anything feminine/having to do with certain organs, would just love to joke about having a miscarriage.

**Brendon Urie:** Ok sorry

**Brendon Urie:** Can I do anything to help or are you trying to make me feel guilty...?

**Dallon Weekes:** I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but considering that you were the second party in this, and since we're kind of possibly in a long term relationship (?) (hopefully we're past the point of casual), you should know about this. (Josh kinda yelled at me about it. So I'm here.) And just a suggestion, but, we should probably also use condoms in the future. Also there's not really a lot to do.

**Brendon Urie:** Ok sorry this is a lot to take in. Uh. Jeez. Okay. Yikes. So, two things—condoms, and if we ever have kids, we're adopting.

**Dallon Weekes:** Hella. Anyways, when do you get home from class

**Brendon Urie:** A few hours. I'm in a courtyard eating. Or I was eating. Appetite's kinda gone.

**Dallon Weekes:** Wanna just, like... hang out on Skype? When you get home, of course. I found some website where we could watch movies or something. Basically I'm asking u if u wanna have a date with me

**Brendon Urie:** Always. I will date the shit out of you.

**Dallon Weekes:** Ah, yes, I am suddenly reminded that I seriously have got to be in love with you.

**Brendon Urie:** Stoopppp I'm blushiiingg. (I love you too. Like. A lot. SO much. However much you think I love you, it's, at the very least, a hundred times that.)


	37. 3.6

**Brendon Urie:** Hey Josh

 **Josh Dun:** Hello Brendon

 **Brendon Urie:** U cool if I visit next week

 **Josh Dun:** I mean. Do I get a choice?

 **Brendon Urie:** Not really but are you cool

 **Josh Dun:** Of course

 **Brendon Urie:** Cool

 **Brendon Urie:** I just really wanna hug Dallon because he told me about the THING

 **Josh Dun:** Are you seriously spending 800 dollars just to come hug him

 **Brendon Urie:** Wouldn’t you do the same thing for your boyfriend

 **Josh Dun:** I mean yeah, but, like… a hug. An eight hundred dollar hug.

 **Brendon Urie:** Don’t ride my ass about this, dude. Anyways I wanna surprise him so don’t tell him if u can help it please

 **Josh Dun:** I won’t

 **Josh Dun:** You need a ride from the airport?

 **Brendon Urie:** Mhm. My flight probably won’t get there until five-ish

 **Josh Dun:** And we probably won’t get to the apartment until six, and Dallon has classes in the evening, so he won’t be there until 9 or 10. (He usually stays late unless it’s one of the days the two of you talk on skype. Idk if u knew that but there’s some dallon trivia for you.)

 **Brendon Urie:** What would he do if I surprised him during a class

 **Josh Dun:** He’d probably cry in front of his students then like… be a little annoyed about it because of professionalism or something. You should do it. :)


	38. 3.7

“It even says it on the Wiki—Achilles and Patroclus had a deep and meaningful _friendship,_ but, what if, instead of _friends,_ they were l—”

“Okay, Mr. Weekes, I hate to interrupt, but there’s been some guy at the door trying to get your attention for, like, ten minutes, so would you, for the love of fucking _god,_ acknowledge him? He’s distracting.” Ashley, or as Dallon would like to call her, Blue Hair Girl, sighs, loudly, and leans back in her seat, staring at the ceiling in despair.

Dallon huffs and looks over to the door, expecting to see Spencer, another professor in his building, or Josh, but fucking _Brendon_ is there, grinning _madly._ “Oh, that piece of _shit,”_ Dallon mutters, drawing a few laughs from his students, since he has not _once_ sworn in front of any of his classes. He throws the book in his hand, and his laser pointer, onto his desk, and pretty much runs towards the door.

He pretty much yanks it off the hinges and Brendon pretty much jumps into his arms. Okay, he actually doesn’t, because if Brendon were to do that, Dallon probably would’ve, like, died from collapsing under his weight, but they do hug each other for a good minute until someone coughs. _“Uh—_ well, Brendon, you interrupted my class, so you can introduce yourself.” Dallon detaches himself, and tugs Brendon into the room.

“Dallon, that’s… that’s a lot of power you’re giving me,” He replies with a mock-concerned look as he sits on Dallon’s desk.

“Please don’t make me regret this.”

Brendon sighs, obnoxiously. “I _suppose_ I can be nice. Uh, well, my name is Brendon Urie, and I’m an aspiring to-be English teacher who doubles as the love of Dallon’s life. I’m an Aries, I fucking hate New York’s weather, and…” Brendon frowns for a split second before asking Dallon, in a hushed voice, a question. “… can I talk about paying Josh to buy me weed…?”

“Not like I can stop you—everyone heard. Thanks, CNN.”

The class laughs.


	39. 3.8

Brendon sits in Dallon’s desk chair, silently watching him, in awe, for the rest of the class. He’s just so good at teaching—it’s ridiculous. They walk to Dallon’s car once Dallon has his things packed and ready to go, and on the way, Brendon decides to compliment him. “Okay, I think I learned more in the two hours I was listening to you teach than I did during the five years I’ve been in college. Like, I graduate in a few months, so take that as a compliment, man.”

Dallon shyly knocks into him and has to try a little too hard to hide the blush on his cheeks, but, obviously, he fails. “I’ve only been teaching for just about four years. I’m not that good.”

“You’ve got, like, a talent for teaching, dude. Some people have music, some write, some draw and paint, and for some it’s sports, but you’re just… You got passion. That shit is hard to come by.”

Dallon huffs. “What about you? Why English? Seems a little… underwhelming. For you. You seem like you’d do something bigger and better, but you’re three months shy of a bachelor’s in English.”

“No fucking clue. I just chose something practical. I… actually really don’t want to teach English,” Brendon admits quietly before they actually step foot onto the parking lot.

“Then _why?”_

“Didn’t realize until last year. Uh, Christ, man, the thing I actually wanna do is kinda… dumb.” Brendon scratches his cheek and lets out a breath. “You wanna hear what I’m about to throw five years of my life, and a bachelor’s away for?”

“I mean, we have plans to get married one day, so yeah. You gotta tell me, dude.” Dallon’s joking around a little, trying to, somehow, reassure Brendon.

“Cosmetology.”

Dallon doesn’t laugh and doesn’t make any comments other than, “I can see it. You seem like a cosmetologist. Does it mean I get free hair cuts if you’re any good?”

“I cut my own hair. Though, that’s… that’s a bad example. Uh. Sarah. I cut her hair. You’ve seen her before, right?”

Dallon waits to respond until either of them are situated in the car. “Actually, I don’t think I have.”

“Oh, fuck, dude, she’s so pretty. I gotta show you. If she wasn’t, like, ace, and if we weren’t together, I’d _so_ be with her. She’s awesome.”

Dallon snorts. “I don’t have to worry, do I?”

And Brendon rolls his eyes as he holds his phone to Dallon. “Nah. You don’t.”

“Jesus fucking Christ—I’m considering breaking up with you. She’s— _holy shit.”_ Dallon just—he has to stare for a few mintues. _“How?_ How can someone be that pretty?”

“Honestly, though. Anyways, her hair isn’t, like, that complicated, but I’ve cut other peoples’ hair before, and I’m, like, really good at dying hair too…? I dunno. This is the _one thing_ I’m good at, but I’ve spent the past five years dicking around, getting an English degree.”

“Hey, hate to, uh, interrupt, but why the fuck are you here?” Dallon finally thinks to ask this after two hours of being around Brendon.

“I wanted to give you a hug after you told me about the thing, so I emptied out my savings, and here I am,” Brendon answers, honestly, looking Dallon in the eye.

“You spent all of your savings just because you wanted to give me a hug?”

“Well, more than just a hug. Like, at least ten hugs. Probably more.”

“… Fuck.”

“… What?”

“We are so getting married one day.”

Brendon cackles and leans across the console to drag Dallon into a pretty rough and clumsy kiss. “Duh.”


	40. 3.9

Dallon and Brendon don’t fool around like they usually would, for obvious reasons, but opt for laying under a few blankets, on Dallon’s bed, discussing their eventual marriage. Either of them act like they’re kidding, but they both know that they’re both dead serious. Dallon’s the kind of guy who does _what_ he wants _when_ he wants, since he’s gone through enough bullshit to be tired of _dealing_ with bullshit, and Brendon is just a #YOLO kind of guy.

“Whose last name are we going with?”

“Dallon Urie sounds weird, and Brendon Weekes sounds weird too,” Dallon decides with a small ‘hm.’ “I think I’d keep my last name just… Just to avoid complications, since I teach.”

“I’ve thought about it before, and I think I’d probably do the hyphen thing. Like, Brendon Urie-Weekes. That don’t sound too bad, now does it?”

“Not one bit. For some reason, I thought you’d be dead set on me taking _your_ last name.”

Brendon snorts and shakes his head before lifting Dallon’s hand, which is clasping one of his, to his lips so he can kiss his boyfriend’s knuckles. “God, no. You’re the man here.”

“Since when?” The older of the two makes a ‘psh’ noise after that and rolls his eyes.

“Since always. You’re my Prince Charming, Dal. Here to whisk me away.”

“You’re too heavy for that.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“I’m calling myself weak.”

Brendon chuckles.


	41. 4.0

**Brendon Urie:** Two things: I now have a Bachelor’s Degree and I’m probably going to be homeless in a few months.

 **Dallon Weekes:** Good time to mention Josh is moving out to go live with Tyler in LA?

 **Brendon Urie:** Very good time, actually.

 **Brendon Urie:** Sooo

 **Dallon Weekes:** Soooooo

 **Dallon Weekes:** do u wanna move in

 **Brendon Urie:** Well I was actually going to stay with my parents…

 **Dallon Weekes:** Really

 **Brendon Urie:** OF COURSE NOT

 **Brendon Urie:** I would be honored to live with you

 **Dallon Weekes:** Ok good I was worried

 


End file.
